THERE’S NO JAZZ CHORDS ALLOWED UP IN TAMWORTH

There’s no jazz chords allowed up in Tamworth

Just good old C, F and G

So if you make any of those “fancy pants” sounds

You’ll have to leave our fine New England town

And let us good, simple country folk be

You can yodel or howl a cowboy tune

Or any old ditty out under the moon

But you won’t get too far

We’ll impound your guitar

If you play those jazz chords up here in Tamworth

You can stomp out a fiddle tune on cue

Or sing a song that’s true blue

But you’ll have to sign and agree not play harmony

that has any more chords than good old C F and G

We don’t care ‘bout your hair or if you look quite the part

We just don’t want any music that resembles art

And your career will be finished if you play Aflat diminished

Cos we don’t like jazz chords up here in Tamworth

No matter how well your act it is polished

You won’t make it with E flat demolished

And you’ll be deemed demented

If you go near F sharp augmented

So just stick on C F and G

And as for those sharp 9’s and flat 5’s

If you play them you’ll be riskin’ your life

It’s a serious transgression

to play any sophisticated progressions

Cos we don’t stand for expensive jazz chords up in Tamworth

We want music that makes us feel proud

So no there’s no multi- chromatics or such allowed

If you play major 7ths or minor 11ths

You won’t get into our exclusive country heaven

So a word of warning to all you young hands

If you want to make it in a top country band

Dumb-down your learnin’

Or you won’t end up earnin’

Keep it cheesy and easy

Say thankyou and pleasy

Do as you’re told

If you want to win Gold

Stand strong true and proud

Play 3 chords very loud

Cos in Tamworth

There’s definitely, positively, emphatically,

Under no circumstances, never, ever

Now don’t you try to be clever

By ordinance with the Country Music Committee

No bloody jazz chords allowed